


Dim the Lights

by demonjeans



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Dark Comedy, M/M, Romance, attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 15:18:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7981282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonjeans/pseuds/demonjeans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seth wonders what the hell to do with his life.<br/>Dean's gotten a second chance he's not sure he even wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Seth has been waiting for the next train for an hour now. Not that one didn’t come by ten minutes ago, and ten before that. He just can’t quite make himself stand is the thing. Can’t find the motivation to do anything but sit there feeling and most likely looking miserable. His eyes are probably pink and blotchy, keeps taking big inhales of air because even remembering to breathe is too much effort. Fucking drama queen.

“They eventually run outta trains, you know.” A man tells him walking over.

Seth looks up, huffs a humourless laugh through his nose. The guy looks as bad as Seth feels. Messy blond hair that a comb would get lost in. Clothes disheveled like he just fell off a truck into a ditch, maybe he did. He also looks like he’s been crying and god isn’t that perfect? Two sad fucks waiting for the last train.

“You been watching me?”

“I was here first.” He says like that means anything.

“Why are you still here then?”

“Why are you?”

Seth shrugs.

“Yea, me too.” He sits down, leaning back. “I’m Dean.”

“Seth.”

The next train comes and goes. Seth stares up at the clock reading fifteen past midnight and sighs. He should go back to his apartment, curl up and sleep the rest of the weekend away. Start over Monday. Not in some trivial way of putting his best foot forward for the week. No, he needs a whole new goddamn life. Maybe move away from this fucking city to someplace quiet. Be a normal person. He takes another deep breath, sniffles.

“Got a breathing problem or somethin’?” Dean asks.

“Keep forgetting.”

“Forgetting?”

“To breathe.”

“Cute.” He grins.

He turns enough to glare at him, though he probably just looks tired and grumpy. “Excuse me?”

“I’m not tryin’ to rile you up. Or maybe I am. I dunno, you’ve been sitting here looking sad as shit and I don’t have anything to do so…”

“So you decided to bother me?”

“Why not?”

“Politeness?”

“You look sad. I came over to check on you, that’s politeness.”

He sniffles again, rolls his eyes in annoyance. “Yea, well, you look pretty fucking sad too.”

Dean pulls up his jacket sleeve showing him a hospital wristband. “Ran off. Too depressing.”

“You dying or something?”

“I was. They pumped my stomach.” Dean says but quickly moves on to explain. “I’m not a junkie. Was just a personal going away party.” 

He has to fight back a laugh. What a nice way to put it.

“You win.” Seth says.

“Win what?”

“Saddest fuck in the station.” Seth replies with a little smirk. 

“Do I get a prize?”

“What do you want?”

“A kiss.” He says and Seth’s eyes go wide. “Hey, I almost died.”

“You did that on your own.” He counters, finds himself actually smiling when Dean bursts into laughter.

The sound of the next train fills the station and Seth notices he’s been breathing normally this whole conversation. Honestly, his life’s in the fucking toilet what’s the harm in a kiss? It starts out simple enough then quickly devolves into something desperate and needy. Seth’s gripping Dean’s jacket to keep him from pulling away but it’s not like the other’s complaining the way he’s slipping a hand through his hair. But that whole needing to breathe thing makes itself known again and forces them apart.

“Should’ve bugged you way earlier.” Dean smirks.

The train arrives, the doors sliding open showing them the way home. Seth looks away and over to Dean considering him a moment. Why not? 

“You hungry?” He asks watching the doors close.

“Starving.”

Seth takes Dean by the hand and leads them up the stairs out into the cool night air. It’s Saturday night, usually he’s at some overpriced party getting plastered and hanging off his ex’s arm. A big damn smile on his face knowing everyone wished they could be him. Right now things are pretty shit and he just kissed a guy who tried to kill himself. He’s crashed and burned magnificently. 

They end up at some hole in the wall all night pizza place that serves cheap drinks that he happily consumes. Starts laughing because this is a hundred times better than his dinner experience earlier. Greasy pizza in a half assed dive bar with a total stranger. He’s gonna stink like smoke for a week and he truly doesn’t give a shit. 

“You already drunk?” Dean raises an eyebrow.

“Nah, this is nice. It’s really nice.” He covers his face as he breaks into laughter again.

Dean’s just staring at him with a big smile, looks kind of handsome and Seth is only mildly buzzed.

“The fuck happened to you that this is nice?”

“Got humiliated. Completely fucking humiliated.” Seth sees Dean’s interest peek and wants to roll his eyes again. “It’s stupid.”

“You can’t say you got humiliated and not tell me why.” Dean complains. “I told you I tried to off myself.”

“You didn’t tell me why.” 

“I’ll tell you my shit when you tell me yours.” Dean holds up his beer. “Deal?”

“I don’t even know you.” He says. Though, Seth’s starting to think he wants to.

“Even better.”

Seth purses his lips then shrugs. Clinks his glass to Dean’s bottle. “Deal. But it’s, uh-”

“I don’t care if it’s stupid!” Dean playfully slaps a hand on the table. “Tell me.”

“My boyfriend- sugar daddy, uh, exboyfriend? One of those, whatever. He brought his new guy with him tonight. So, uh, yea.”

“You can’t just leave it at that!” Dean exclaims and leans forward. “Was it like ‘surprise I’m with this guy now’?”

Seth shakes his head. “We broke up a couple days ago. Well, he broke up with me. Said he was bored. Got invited to dinner by a friend who just wanted to see drama cause that’s what rich fucks do. But I wasn’t thinking and of course he’s there with that little shit on his arm.” He takes a slow tired breath. “Sorry, I know it’s dumb.”

“It’s not.”

“You tried to kill yourself and I’m crying over… whatever.”

“Fuck that.” Dean says. “Who says you gotta measure up? Anyway, as you might know, I already got crowned saddest fuck in the station so don’t worry about it.”

They down the rest of the drinks commiserating over their shitty existence. Seth hasn’t felt this at ease in months.

“So you gonna tell me your story?” Seth asks.

“Workin’ up to it. How long were you with your- whatever he was.”

“Over a year. Started out strictly business then he said he was falling for me and I believed him. Then he acts like we just fucking met and tells me we’re done.”

“You know what we should do?” 

“What?”

“Set his house on fire.” Dean says so casually that Seth thinks he’s gonna puke from laughing so hard. 

And there’s Dean smiling at him again, redness gone from his eyes leaving Seth to stare at the prettiest baby blues he’s ever seen.

“You should kiss me.” For a second Seth’s not sure if he actually says it out loud when Dean takes his hand and presses his lips to Seth’s knuckles.

He might be blushing, or he’s drunk. Both. Probably both.

“I’m tired.” Dean runs his thumb over the back of Seth’s hand.

“What time is it?” He glances around but Dean shakes his head. 

“ No, I mean, that’s why I did it. ...I don’t have some great fuckin’ reason. Wanted to sleep and just not wake up. Cause... ” He sighs, runs his fingers under Seth’s palm over and over. The noise around them seems to fade as Seth waits for him to continue. “Cause no matter how much I change shit at the end of the day I’m still me and I don’t like me very much.”

Seth isn’t sure what to say and the buzz certainly isn’t helping. So he brings Dean’s hand over and softly kisses his knuckles in return.

“Now that’s just fuckin’ cheesy.” Dean chews at his lower lip. 

“If I say I think you’re alright does that even mean anything?”

“I dunno.” He answers. “But I don’t get hot guys tellin’ me nice things that often so it’s a win win.”

“Wanna get outta here?”

It’s either the best or worst idea for two vulnerable people who desperately want to get away from their lives and themselves.

“We missed the last train. Fun as it’d be, I don’t wanna fuck you in a bathroom. You look too nice for that.”

“Look.” He repeats and Dean grins.

“Still.”

They could get a room somewhere, it’s not like he couldn’t afford it. Some place with a nice view. Another memory from earlier tonight pops into his head and mischievous look grows on Seth’s face. 

“I have keys to his weekend house in the hills.”

“Weekend house?” Dean questions then snorts. “Hope you milked that fucker.”

“I’ll be alright for a while.” He says a little proudly.

“It’s Saturday though.”

“Well, that little shit he was with couldn’t stop talking about flying to New York right after.” He explains. “Stared me right in the eyes and said ‘bags all packed’. Swear everyone was waiting for me to explode. Fuck them.” 

“That’s the spirit!” Dean drums his hands against the table, his confession pushed away but not forgotten. “Let’s go.”


	2. Chapter 2

Out of every possibility of how his night would go after running away from the hospital, making out with some stranger in the back of a cab was nowhere on that list. He probably can’t keep calling Seth a stranger, the pair of them had spilled their biggest problems to each other and shared a pizza. Friends forever or some shit like that.

They get dropped off in front of this cliffside house that looks too fancy to be real. Where most of the walls are glass just for the fucking view. Dean wants to applaud Seth, did a nice job for himself, at least till he got replaced. He makes a mental note to piss all over the perfectly manicured side garden later.

“We should fuck in every room.” Dean says enjoying the chuckle he gets from the other.

The crazy thing about being in a glass house is the moon illuminating everything like the whole goddamn place is glowing, including them. It’s kind of magical. Could be the booze talking but judging from the way the light hits Seth’s skin when he pulls off his jacket the sooner they're naked the better.

“I want champagne.” Seth says walking over to the bar.

“What’re we celebrating?”

“Missed trains.”

And for a minute Dean wonders if he’s actually dead. It’s not exactly how he pictured the afterlife but he’ll take it. Watches Seth saunter over to the sound system built into the wall, hits a few buttons and suddenly music fills the room. He takes a swig from the bottle, coy little smile on his face as he motions Dean to follow.

Fucking in a glass house is pretty wild, too. The hazy lights of the city below them would normally be breathtaking but in all honesty he doesn’t give a shit about that. Not with Seth on all fours moaning for Dean to fuck him harder. And how can he say no? Slips a hand into Seth’s hair tugging just enough for that extra little push as he thrusts into him.

It’s the first time in a long goddamn time that Dean’s wanted a night to never end.

Every day feels so flat. Hours go by and nothing seems to happen even when life is going at full speed. He tried to put on a good face, fill the emptiness with anything that might keep his mind occupied. But it never worked and he’d spend half the night staring at the ceiling wondering what was wrong with him. He was just so fucking tired.

So why not down a bottle of pills and hope for the best?

Later they’re sitting in front of one of the glass walls staring down at the city. He probably had more to drink than he should’ve since he’s not totally sure how they ended up with a blanket around them or why Seth’s arm is over his shoulders but Dean’s not complaining.

“This is so fuckin’... This is nice.” Dean quietly laughs. “Didn’t think tonight’d be like this.”

Seth hums, squeezes his shoulders. “I was wondering… How’d you get to the hospital? Did someone find you?”

Dean stiffens slightly. “I- I called. I,uh…”

Seth presses a kiss to his temple, realizing he may have stepped too far but Dean wants to tell him. Add that to the list of things he wasn’t expecting.

“The view’s not the only cool thing here, c’mon.”

He’s lead back out to the main room, Seth grabbing another bottle of something along the way. 

“Whiskey makes everything better!” He says in a cheerful voice that makes Dean just want to kiss him again.

At the opposite end of the house sliding doors open out to a large shimmering pool. It’s almost tucked away by the slope of the mountain side, makes them feel hidden. Dean’s about to say something when he catches sight of Seth again. The underwater lights shining through the darkness and Seth looks like he’s fucking glowing again.

“What?”

“You’re- uh, thanks. For tonight.”

Seth takes a step closer, can feel the heat off his body. “Should be thanking you for bothering me.”

“Huh.” He puts on a grin. “You’re right I’m pretty awesome.”

He really should’ve expected getting pushed into the pool. 

Seth is still laughing when he sits at the edge of the pool closing his eyes and swaying to the music.

“You gonna throw me in and just sit there?” He swims over, swipes the bottle from Seth’s side and takes a large gulp.

“Gimme a minute.”

“Hey.” He taps Seth’s knee. “Scoot up a little.”

Seth blinks, glancing down at him. “Yea?”

“Yea.”

Fucking in a glass house and giving a blowjob poolside is not at all what Dean expected out of tonight. But the moan he hears when he takes Seth into his mouth is like heaven. Goes at a teasingly slow pace, stopping briefly just to feel Seth’s cock pulsates in his throat. Hands work their way into his hair and everything that isn’t them feels so faint. This night is theirs, screw everything else.

“You’re fucking beautiful.” Seth leans back on his hands and Dean could stare at him all night like this.

He licks his lips. “You’re drunk.”

“Don’t see how that changes anything.” He slips into the water.

He doesn’t know how long they float around simply kissing like they’ve known each other for years not hours. For the second time that night Dean legitimately wonders if he’s dead because how the hell is any of this happening? Every other time he’s opened his loud mouth it landed him in fights, which usually was fine by him. Just another way to fill the emptiness. Seth was supposed to yell at him when Dean asked for a kiss not actually kiss him. Now here they were, saddest fucks in the station finding solace in each other. 

The next thing Dean knows he’s waking up in a heap of blankets, head throbbing and limbs heavy. Seth is nowhere in sight and for a moment his heart sinks when he hears the sound of clattering pans in the other room. Yesterday morning he was in tears and couldn’t stop shaking, gotten so overwhelmed that all he wanted to rip himself apart. So he wrecked his place, took the pills and flew into a whole new panic. Right now though, he’s pissing into a bottle of mouthwash and feeling pretty great about it. Doesn’t hurt that last night may have been one of the best nights of his whole shitty life.

It also doesn’t hurt that Seth is still naked and whatever he’s making smells amazing.

“And you cook? Fucker doesn’t know what he’s losing.” Dean says stepping up behind Seth and wrapping his arms around the other’s waist.

Seth laughs softly, relaxing against him. “There’s coffee too if you want.”

“This is good.” He rests his head on Seth’s shoulder. 

Then there’s that fucking noise in his head making him worry if Seth even wants Dean touching him. They spent one drunken night together this morning is a whole new ballgame.

“Is this ok?” He asks, lightly tightening his hold for emphasis.

“Yea.” Seth answers, reaches up to tangle his fingers in Dean’s hair like he’s trying to reassure him and oddly enough it does.

Breakfast is mostly silent, the stereo quietly playing in the background. Occasionally glancing up at Seth who looks a bit lost. Like maybe he’s reconsidering things. He thinks of getting his shit and leaving but he’s got to at least test the waters. 

“You ok?”

“Yea...no. Yea.” Seth shrugs with a small exasperated sigh. “Last night was… It was great.”

“But?” Of course there was going to be a but. 

“No, um- Actually, I’m really glad I met you. It’s all this shit.” He makes a vague gesture at their surroundings. “I’m gonna miss it and I know it wasn’t great. Threw away everything about me just to fit in and I never fucking did but I thought if he was happy… Whatever, it’s all bullshit.”

Dean has a real hard time pulling his thoughts away from Seth’s first statement but amazingly he manages. “Welcome to the brand new life club. It sucks.” He grins and they’re both laughing like idiots. 

“I’m glad I met you, too.” Dean says once their laughter subsides.

Seth takes a sip of coffee, watching him. “So, uh, thinking of heading back to my place in a bit if you wanna come along.”

He nods, feels a smile tugging at his lips. “Sounds good.”

And there they are back at the train station only this time instead of staring at Seth from a distance he’s holding his hand. It all seems ridiculous, the succession of complete hell to something… something like this. Whatever this is. Neither of them probably know and maybe that’s for the best. The platform begins to rumble from the oncoming train and he chances a quick peck at Seth’s cheek, gets rewarded with what he swears is a giggle and a squeeze of his hand. The train doors slide open and they both step forward. There’s still a lot of shit to wade through but right now it doesn’t matter. 

It’s just the two of them starting over.


End file.
